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The 6 Most Unintentionally Hilarious Old School PSAs

cracked.com — If you want to know why your parents are the way they are, it's because they were likely raised on a series of deeply disturbing educational films.

made popular 57 days ago

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  • K0MMIE, on 11/12/2008, -3/+40So wait... duck and cover DOESN'T work?
    • aristotle1990, on 11/12/2008, -0/+16Actually, the advice presented in the video is relatively sound. Ducking and covering is meant to protect you from debris (especially from broken windows), and it does to some extent. By covering exposed skin and your neck you are also are reducing the odds that you'll be burned or that you'll be injured.

      Of course, regardless of what you do, you will be killed when you're within the blast radius. But ducking and covering will reduce the odds of injury when you are at a non-lethal distance.
    • JTJ1210, on 11/16/2008, -0/+2Duck and cover may not work, but hopping inside a fridge does.
  • pitchblack16, on 11/12/2008, -1/+15Pornography is the life blood of civilization, lol
    • Ladymongoose, on 11/12/2008, -0/+1Too bad they put all those red bars on the pictures...we can't see a thing, now.
  • SickBoy, on 11/12/2008, -1/+41We lost ancient Egypt, classical Greece and imperial Rome all because of pornography? Next thing, they'll be telling me the dinosaurs died out because I touch myself at night.
    • AnarkeIncarnate, on 11/12/2008, -0/+25No, but that's why you are not allowed within 250 feet of schools
    • arkaycee, on 11/12/2008, -2/+0No I forget what it was, but they did say it was something big so you're off the hook.
  • Smokeydabear, on 11/12/2008, -2/+14I'm never "smoking reefers" again!
  • NeoCortex, on 11/12/2008, -4/+18Beware "the homosexual"!
  • ani625, on 11/12/2008, -5/+1Looks like 2 posts of the article will make frontpage.
  • ecto123, on 11/12/2008, -4/+1Oh this is hilarious!
  • manstein01, on 11/12/2008, -1/+2Not sure what the issue is with #4.
  • GutterMoo, on 11/12/2008, -0/+12Classic. I'd like to have all of these films on one DVD just to make a drinking game out of it. Every time they mention Communism you take a drink.
  • Sluglas, on 11/12/2008, -1/+16The one about pornography made me feel dirtier than if I had watched some porn. Fap.
  • Hobbes24, on 11/12/2008, -6/+55fun fact:

    the duck and cover method was actually implemented to provide more barriers between the debris/blast and your teeth. Why?

    so dental records could be used to identify the dead.

    they weren't stupid, they knew you'd still die unless you're in a fallout shelter, they just said "it could save you" because that sounds a hell of a lot better than "it will make your charred corpse easier to identify" and it gives the public some peace of mind
    • Aadain, on 11/12/2008, -1/+13OMG, I never heard of that or could figure out WTF the government was thinking with duck and cover. But what you said sounds more likely inline with reality.
    • flyingclutchman, on 11/12/2008, -0/+8Never heard of the teeth thing but I knew they knew it was BS and did it to give people peace of mind
    • linagee, on 11/12/2008, -0/+4Wait, you mean the duck and cover video is not just made so the public have a warm and fuzzy feeling?
    • Temo1, on 11/12/2008, -1/+13That's the dumbest ***** I've ever heard. Most people in 1952 (when the film was made) didn't even have dental records. The first case solved using dental records wasn't until 1971 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wayne_Boden)

      Also, using a table or your back as protection for your teeth against a nuclear blast is like using notebook paper to stop a bullet.
      • Hobbes24, on 11/12/2008, -5/+1that just isn't true dude.

        the IDEA behind dental records was still in its infancy, but theorists at the time knew that it was the only possible way to identify someone if that happened

        they were essentially shooting in the dark and hoping it would work, but it was better then nothing

        and yes, having as many layers between you and your teeth (including putting as much of your body between them and the debris) would be beneficial, obviously this wouldn't help people who were incinerated, but then again, not that many who died would die from incineration, they'd die from debris
      • nivekious, on 11/12/2008, -2/+1If I recall high school history correctly, dental records were being used to identify the dead as the U.S. Civil War.
      • Hobbes24, on 11/13/2008, -3/+1yea bury me, you know i'm right.
    • sildude, on 11/13/2008, -1/+4I'd think after a fullblown nuclear war, with millions of deaths, nobody would even give a ***** about identifying the dead.
  • Coffeedemon, on 11/12/2008, -2/+12"You're a real dreamboat... BILLY EVERYTEEN!"
    /Don't Date Robots!
    • Aadain, on 11/12/2008, -0/+7Electric Gonorrhea: The Noisy Killer
    • sharkd, on 11/12/2008, -0/+2Where are all the football stars? And, where are all the biochemists?

      They're TRAPPED! Trapped in the vise-like grip of robot lips!
  • DeathJux, on 11/12/2008, -0/+12No "The Honk"? I cry with laughter every time I see this *****:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDy1KZFCTlo
    • tencrownsdrop, on 11/12/2008, -0/+1thanks for that dude, i laughed wicked hard.
    • GorfTron, on 11/12/2008, -0/+6Nice. This is much better that screaming for help.
    • malex, on 11/12/2008, -0/+5Oddly enough, it wasn't a bad concept. Adults are more or less trained to ignore screaming kids, so it makes sense to come up with a new strategy.

      Except honking is ridiculous. These days, self-defense classes teach kids to yell "fire!" if they're attacked.
      • nivekious, on 11/12/2008, -0/+1Really? When I was a kid they just taught us how to knock out assailants.

        And wouldn't yelling fire just cause people to run away from the emergency?
      • DeathJux, on 11/12/2008, -0/+1I don't know about you, but when I hear screams, or "Fire!" or any other extremely unusual event, I generally check it out, unless brimstone is raining down on my head.

        I don't think most people are deer, so there's usually some thought before a "fight or flight" mechanism kicks in.
      • malex, on 11/13/2008, -0/+2nivekious: The kids we teach start around age 6. Knocking out an abductor is not always physically possible, no matter how good your technique is.
      • malex, on 11/13/2008, -0/+4And as far as yelling, it's been proven that in most situations yelling "help" or "rape" can frighten potential witnesses or rescuers away, while yelling "fire" tends to draw a crowd.
  • ANA1OG, on 11/12/2008, -0/+23After watching duck and cover, who else had strong urge to play Fallout 3?
  • freedomkeeper, on 11/12/2008, -1/+2The kicker is the google as at the end of page two that states, "...crunches and situps actually do NOT flatten your stomach." Yeah, and donuts are good for you, too!
  • Jo9100, on 11/12/2008, -3/+2school PSAs? I don't remember seeing PSAs at school...

    *ba-dum chinggg*
  • donquixote2006, on 11/12/2008, -0/+9Poor Ralph, got arrested for being gay.
  • kouchan21, on 11/12/2008, -0/+1Where are the California Cheeseburgers?
  • hushpuppy20, on 11/12/2008, -0/+5Cracked is ripping stuff off from Digg now! This story was on here 4 days ago. A few new ones, but they ripped off the two best from an "Esquire" article.

    http://digg.com/odd_stuff/Top_5_Misleading_Propaga ...
  • punkcat, on 11/12/2008, -0/+5get with the countdown, shake this square world and blast off for kicksville.
  • jwoulf, on 11/12/2008, -10/+1PUT IT ALL ON ONE ***** PAGE!!!

    PUT IT ALL ON ONE ***** PAGE!!!

    PUT IT ALL ON ONE ***** PAGE!!!

    PUT IT ALL ON ONE ***** PAGE!!!

    PUT IT ALL ON ONE ***** PAGE!!!

    PUT IT ALL ON ONE ***** PAGE!!!

    PUT IT ALL ON ONE ***** PAGE!!!

    PUT IT ALL ON ONE ***** PAGE!!!

    PUT IT ALL ON ONE ***** PAGE!!!

    • namelessXsilent, on 11/12/2008, -0/+6Oh man 2 pages is tooooo much!
    • SemiSarcastic, on 11/12/2008, -2/+3LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!

      LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!

      LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!

      LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!

      LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!

      LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!

      LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!
  • adrunasinger, on 11/12/2008, -0/+6Barbara you just make me so mad! OOOOOO!

    And all you book reading girls!
    Get you nose out of that book and fix
    your hair! The shame of it! OOOOOO!
  • WayneCA, on 11/12/2008, -1/+6"It provides kicks to be a homosexual."

    "Well at this point my friends, I wish to make it clear that the obscenity I'm talking about and the examples I'm about to show you.." - John McCain?
  • normlsparky, on 11/12/2008, -0/+9Some of these Public Service Announcements are still alive and well. The DARE program is just an updated version of the anti drug PSA. They spout off the same scientifically unfounded, fear based crap with a modern twist.
  • mingohills, on 11/12/2008, -0/+9And we wonder we have so many sexual deviants. People were absolutely scared into shame for being kinky.
  • tencrownsdrop, on 11/12/2008, -1/+8forget it man, and get with the countdown.
    shake this square world and blast off for kicksville.
  • secrity, on 11/12/2008, -0/+1I went to school in the mid 60's - mid 70's, and I never saw any sort of film like these. I saw a bunch of wierd films, but they were in english/communication classes and they were supposed to be weird.
  • malex, on 11/12/2008, -0/+3"Forget it man, and get with the countdown. Shake this square world, and blast off for Kicksville."
    • malex, on 11/12/2008, -0/+1... and of course, now I see that Tencrownsdrop beat me by 20 minutes, and Punkcat before him/her.

      No matter, I'm still going to use this phrase every opportunity I can.
  • axox, on 11/13/2008, -0/+1I'm not a "dugg for" guy but the photo match up of John Locke's dad from lost is just uncanny!
  • FreddieD, on 11/13/2008, -1/+1How to know if YOU'VE got a gay....

    If he bleeds corrosive acid, YOU'VE got a gay!

    *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang*

    Not this time, nancy boy!
  • antdude, on 11/13/2008, -0/+1http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/terri ... was funny!
  • ultraJesus, on 11/13/2008, -0/+2*****... so that's why I keep waking up with glass in my mouth.
  •  

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