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Monkey Steals The Peach [PIC]

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  • Surferess, on 11/19/2008, -1/+57Ouch!
    • cartisdm, on 11/19/2008, -0/+13I feel like anyone having a strong enough grip to rip off my peaches through my jeans.....I'm not getting in a fight to begin with

      ....unless of course we're fighting naked - in which case my point is moot
    • SuperMonkeyKing, on 11/19/2008, -0/+6Don't just say "ouch", get mario so he can save peaches
      • Wamzlee, on 11/20/2008, -0/+11Haha. When I saw the title, I totally thought of Donkey Kong stealing Princess Peach.
      • fnnkybutt, on 11/20/2008, -0/+4Really love your peaches. Wanna shake your tree.
    • contact, on 11/20/2008, -0/+7So let me get this straight.. You're going to rip my balls off.
    • pjsmike, on 11/20/2008, -0/+3But the million dollar question: Will the monkey eat the peach afterwards?
    • MtheoryX, on 11/20/2008, -0/+2Feels good man.
  • DavidTurnbull, on 11/19/2008, -13/+152No *****
    • semperfidoordi, on 11/19/2008, -4/+94It's not gay unless the balls touch.
      • serif69, on 11/19/2008, -0/+64I'll take this man's word for it, simply based on his avatar.
      • damian7, on 11/19/2008, -3/+21He must be well experienced.
      • semperfidoordi, on 11/20/2008, -2/+23A wise decision my friend. ;)
      • mrASSMAN, on 11/20/2008, -6/+2Oh god it's McCain.
    • KingGorilla, on 11/20/2008, -1/+20THAT'S MY PURSE I DON'T KNOW YOU
    • Huangism, on 11/20/2008, -0/+3this is an actual move, i saw it in a chinese movie when i was little

      i am sure it is very effective
  • holmzz, on 11/19/2008, -20/+11Silly monkey! Those aren't peaches.
    The written discription is BRUTAL and priceless!
    I hereby ban any " I can haz peaches" comments.
    • jtotheoe, on 11/19/2008, -7/+17I can haz peaches you iz not mai boss.
    • ClevelandBrown, on 11/19/2008, -0/+28I hereby place my genitals on your forehead.
      • jtotheoe, on 11/19/2008, -2/+2i hereby place my genitals on my own forehead.
  • bsingle, on 11/19/2008, -3/+91In slow motion this can actually be a very pleasant maneuver. It has to be applied many times in succession, however.
  • aethelberga, on 11/19/2008, -0/+140Now which would you prefer: an energy spike directed upward, stopping the heart, or the ripping away of the genitals leading to massive blood loss and death? Avoid Followers of the Iron Hand at all cost.
    • doublefelix, on 11/19/2008, -6/+7That "stopping my heart" ***** is not going to work....unless you rip away my genitals.
    • Brododium, on 11/19/2008, -0/+27It's lucky they're easy to identify, before engaging them call out "Hi-5" and leave 'em hanging, if the hand's Iron, run in the opposite direction.
      Now, the Followers of the Aluminium Foil Hand are a cinch.
  • SgtOompa, on 11/19/2008, -1/+11peachy
  • Berkana, on 11/19/2008, -7/+99Ugh! >_< This move should rather be named "ape rips off scrotum."
    • cardshark69, on 11/20/2008, -0/+15Well then hostiles will know what you're about to do as you scream "ape rips off scrotum".
      Screaming "Monkey steals the peach" is much more subtle
  • suntzusputnik, on 11/19/2008, -8/+21http://www.monkeygrabsthepeach.net/peach.JPG
  • SoSickSry, on 11/19/2008, -11/+1lmao skilled!
  • levitron, on 11/19/2008, -1/+50FTA:
    "Whip the arms as described and strike the enemy's groin with the open palm, fingers bent at the firs joint in a Monkey Paw or Tiger Claw fist. The impact will lift the enemy off the ground. Those skilled in chi kung can direct energy up the Ch'ueng Mo channel of the body and stop the heart. Followers of the Iron Hand styles immediately clench their fists tightly, with a crushing grip, and jerk the hand sharply back to the near hip, effectively ripping away the genitals. Massive blood loss causes death."

    So....you win, then?
    • digitnsm, on 11/19/2008, -1/+8Probably, but you fail if you're caught or seen. ("Gee, he's not gay at all!")
    • Sornos, on 11/19/2008, -0/+38"The impact will lift the enemy off the ground."
      *crosses legs slowly*
    • KayinAngel, on 11/19/2008, -2/+34i'm adding "stopping someones heart with a strike to the groin" onto my list of things i want to do before i die.
    • drex8, on 11/19/2008, -0/+9It hurts to read that.
    • mrseptic, on 11/19/2008, -0/+29I wouldn't consider a fistful of bloody genitals winning.
      • consonance, on 11/20/2008, -0/+4But it does count when you go for a few bloody genitals more.
      • sephiroth965, on 11/20/2008, -0/+9When are they going to implement fav'ing comments? I'm laughing my ass off at this whole thread.
    • dabura, on 11/20/2008, -0/+3Sir you win, i am out.
    • Enasni1212, on 11/20/2008, -0/+5FATALITY
    • MtheoryX, on 11/20/2008, -2/+2No, it's just a flesh wound.
  • Revanche900, on 11/19/2008, -2/+3I love the nervous look on the "victim's" face.
  • Waune, on 11/19/2008, -3/+24What would chuck do.
    • rald84, on 11/19/2008, -0/+15chuck norris has iron balls.

      or something.
    • iashraf, on 11/19/2008, -0/+5Sue.
    • JoeSpaceTime, on 11/20/2008, -1/+3Degenerate.
    • bede, on 11/20/2008, -0/+13die from massive blood loss
    • Sneezyx, on 11/20/2008, -0/+22Chuck would eat the peach.
    • ispshadow, on 11/20/2008, -0/+17Tell you that bibles belong in school.
    • Huangism, on 11/20/2008, -2/+3Chuck has steel balls he would not care for this move, instead he will punch out the grabber with his third fist from his chin
  • tmacfan123, on 11/19/2008, -24/+2i'm glad that in the second picture he didn't actually touch his genitals...i would have then realized that everybody who dugg this was gay
    • MilesyMiles, on 11/20/2008, -0/+5ahomophobesayswhat?
    • MtheoryX, on 11/20/2008, -0/+2So long as your balls aren't touching his, it's not gay.
  • IMDPanda, on 11/19/2008, -3/+37Dugg for making my lower half feel funny.
  • ZZOTH, on 11/19/2008, -11/+3apparently at least one martial arts master was in the closet. "must invent moves that allow me to grab my opponents wang!"
  • jiqiren, on 11/19/2008, -2/+11That's slapping a banana!

    …not stealing a peach…
  • waddling, on 11/19/2008, -11/+7On Eunuch epic fail!
    • KaseyCarbone, on 11/19/2008, -0/+7The eunuchs will digg you down every time.
  • Sisko41, on 11/19/2008, -2/+5cup the sack
  • aceldlite, on 11/19/2008, -9/+42猴子偷桃, 神仙採葡萄 !!!!!!!!!
    • blitzkriegpunk, on 11/19/2008, -1/+48OVER 9000??!?!?!??!
    • amk29j, on 11/19/2008, -1/+62According to Google Translate Beta: "Monkeys steal peach, grape fairy mining."
      • cardshark69, on 11/20/2008, -0/+21And who are we to disagree?
      • shotthemoon, on 11/20/2008, -1/+14The phrase is in Chinese. The phrase loosely translates as "Monkey stealing the peach, God picking the grapes".

        It's an actual martial arts move in China where you grab your opponent's groin area in an attempt to rip the balls off, thus "stealing the peach / picking the grapes".
      • PurpleDee, on 11/20/2008, -0/+2Yeah if you remove the comma it becomes Monkey steal peach God mining grapes ...

        http://translate.google.com/translate_t#zh-CN|en|% ...
    • drex8, on 11/19/2008, -1/+2Square balls?
    • shaftscaliber, on 11/19/2008, -1/+25Babel Fish says:

      "The monkey steals the peach, the deity picks the grape!!!!!!!!!"
    • EdwardNigma, on 11/19/2008, -3/+50Google Translate Beta: "Long live Chairman Mao and the communist regime!!"
    • remotehuman, on 11/19/2008, -1/+15there is lead in my what???
    • SirFink, on 11/21/2008, -0/+2고추 주세요
  • lcaz319, on 11/19/2008, -1/+26They should incorporate this move into the UFC. It would be much more entertaining.
    • drex8, on 11/19/2008, -0/+7My question is, why this move wasn't on Kill Bill??
      It'd have been awesome.
  • dha07030, on 11/19/2008, -1/+24I just go for wrist control.
    • Balath, on 11/19/2008, -0/+21And when you've got wrist control that's when you pull out your gun.
      • passedoutghost, on 11/19/2008, -1/+5That's the most important step, don't forget it.
  • jtotheoe, on 11/19/2008, -6/+28I wanna see "Monkey Eats the Peach."

    Just so I can be adequately trained in self-defense, of course.
    • feanix, on 11/20/2008, -0/+4Would that be... someone biting his balls off?
  • deinem, on 11/19/2008, -0/+27Not cool man.
  • flamewall203, on 11/19/2008, -2/+63***** man. Not cool.
    • BigE89, on 11/19/2008, -1/+15Butters, you can't go around ripping peoples balls off. Not cool man.
    • dabura, on 11/20/2008, -0/+3eh man...
  • DeviantDragon, on 11/19/2008, -1/+7What's amazing is that I've seen the actual book that this is from.
    • doublefelix, on 11/19/2008, -0/+17Crouching Dragon, Hidden Scrotum?
    • adamwho, on 11/19/2008, -0/+8How is that amazing? It is a book, it was meant to be read.
    • ditchtwicker, on 11/19/2008, -0/+10It's amazing that he looked at a book is what he means. An actual book! Fortunately it had pictures for him.
    • elmuerte17, on 11/19/2008, -0/+3I've seen the PDF version of that book... pretty sure it's stashed away on my old external HDD. Forget which one that was, think it was called the Martial Arts Handbook of Self-Defense or something like that...
    • jussipupu, on 11/20/2008, -0/+2I learned it in karate class. With the same name, too.
    • BiggestAl, on 11/20/2008, -0/+2I have that book.
  • n7ghthawk, on 11/19/2008, -4/+18Chuck Norris's only weakness
    • sorensilk, on 11/19/2008, -1/+18No, Chuck Norris has a brass peach.
      • TekTrixter, on 11/20/2008, -0/+7only one? I thought Chuck Norris had 8 peaches..
  • MilesyMiles, on 11/19/2008, -1/+36Seriously, if the designers of Mortal Kombat had known about this earlier, Sonja's fatality would have been so much more impressive/disturbing.
  • 1C751, on 11/19/2008, -8/+0
    • KayinAngel, on 11/19/2008, -0/+1i think that video caused me to loose a year or two of my life span. ***** you.
    • bmystry, on 11/19/2008, -0/+2I don't get it?
    • remotehuman, on 11/19/2008, -0/+3cheeky DDR?
  • vind, on 11/19/2008, -1/+84This move takes a set of balls.
    • Balath, on 11/19/2008, -1/+12It took a terrible minute for me to reach the depths of that joke.
    • Rodik, on 11/19/2008, -0/+5sadly, me too.
    • popltree2, on 11/19/2008, -6/+4...and then rips them from the body.
    • dddavid, on 11/20/2008, -2/+13but if you don't have one BEFORE the move, you're sure to have one AFTER the move.
    • dabura, on 11/20/2008, -2/+3This move destroy not only the man, but his balls also.
  • KayinAngel, on 11/19/2008, -11/+2Massive blood loss causes death.
  • gianthorse, on 11/19/2008, -1/+3different form of monkey ball
  • recruz, on 11/19/2008, -6/+3what a jerk ... off
  • TheSum, on 11/19/2008, -0/+15I am trying to think of something funny, but all I feel is pain. testicular pain.
    • yetAnotherCroc, on 11/19/2008, -1/+16You weren't supposed to have your friend try it on you.
  • skeetmuffin, on 11/19/2008, -0/+1get away from my balls!
    why peach?
    now I don't think I'll eat peaches again
    • almk, on 11/20/2008, -0/+6Why not peaches? Small, firm, flesh colored, hairy.. it's the perfect fruit analogy.
  • dagnabbit, on 11/19/2008, -0/+52So if your attacker is wearing jeans, I guess you need to be really strong for this to work. I mean hitting a guy in the balls is simple enough, but tearing them off? I'll settle for monkey kicks the peach repeatedly then runs away (TM)
    • mediaphile, on 11/20/2008, -0/+4I guess that's why the defender in the picture on the right is wearing jeans.
  • lnoyes, on 11/19/2008, -0/+1That ninja is gonna get armbarred.
  • HMMcKamikaze, on 11/19/2008, -0/+11Why would a burglar know about this technique?
  • Zidul, on 11/19/2008, -0/+3What is this scanned from? where can i buy this :D
  • ItsMyWii, on 11/19/2008, -0/+4Those last two sentences on the second page are hardcore.
  • 48snickers, on 11/19/2008, -1/+2I'm wearing a cup all the f(*&ing time from now on. Never know where there might be a follower of the Iron Monkey.
  • thebeez, on 11/19/2008, -0/+1Ooo......testicle foul, take a free throw
  • 5xSTUN, on 11/19/2008, -2/+3FINISH HIM!
    Ninja wins. FATALITY.
  • myk7, on 11/19/2008, -0/+4Guy on the right has some sweet jeans.
  • spepin, on 11/19/2008, -0/+4Effectively ripping away the genitals? Oh god.
  • youliveinfear, on 11/19/2008, -0/+29two monkeys..one peach.
  • euphoria860, on 11/19/2008, -8/+3older than color photography.
    • amk29j, on 11/19/2008, -1/+6Dugg down. Maybe it was cheaper to print it in B&W.
      • euphoria860, on 11/19/2008, -4/+2it was an exaggeration, just saying it quite old
  • ChapelJuice, on 11/19/2008, -0/+1"I'm just lookin' for a little slap n' pickle!"
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